Conjuring Your Inner Truth
A Self Paced Program For Women To Embrace A Life Beyond Alcohol
"I’m no stranger to binge drinking, anxiety-filled hangovers, blackouts and embarrassing behaviors that lead to regrettable experiences and dangerous situations. In fact, I’ve been there too many times to count"
Although I never hit “rock bottom,” many of my experiences may have looked like a bottom to most, but were simply another night out to me. I easily excused, denied and carried on no matter the severity of any situation.
I know what it’s like to chase the buzz, seek euphoria and keep drinking regardless of knowing better or that I should stop. In those moments it always seems like not feeling anything is more important than paying the price to deal with those awful feelings in the days that followed.
"I also know what it’s like to know deep down inside that your life should be more than just this."
I know that you are more than the choices you are making everyday that are holding you back from living a life where you’re healthy and balanced and that you deserve better than what you choose for yourself but you just don’t know where to start and it is scary to look at the parts of you that reflect your hurt and pain.
The worst memories of drinking for me were when I was running on empty with no dignity and no sleep, trying to manage life, businesses and kids. I knew the day ahead of me was going to be hell when the sun began to rise, the birds began to chirp, and I still hadn’t slept as I waited for my kids to wake up.
I dreaded taking care of them those days. It was easier to play off a hangover with things like “mom isn’t feeling good today” when the kids were younger, but as they got older you could see the disappointment in them and no matter how fun you tried to make a day of blinds closed in darkness and greasy takeout seem, after a while they weren't buying it.
Between sneaking out for cigarettes, struggling through panic attacks and maintaining composure while I anxiously awaited the afternoon to arrive so I could drink again or have a nap, there was nothing about my behaviour that was healthy or inspiring.
I was constantly waiting for the day to be over so I could sleep off the shame of whatever nasty fight I got in with my husband the night before. My parenting style was simply trying to find something to distract them with. Meanwhile I was puking and/or crying while being completely checked out as I coasted through the day self-obsessed and self-absorbed in whatever drame I was currently participating in.
I struggled to find balance between being a present, loving mom and wanting to go out and forget about my life completely. I was unhappy. I was constantly involved in a dramatic story and I had identified for so long as a victim and someone who only knew a party-girl identity.
I didn’t feel confident or successful, I didn’t believe in myself or my abilities. I loved my kids but I didn’t love myself and I honestly didn’t even know how to. But I did know this was no way to live and definitely no way to be a mother. I was ashamed of myself and the example I was setting for my kids.
At the end of the day I knew how I was behaving was wrong and self destructive. I felt worthless, but I kept doing it over and over. I kept trying to power through and create balance between living an authentic life and wanting to numb out and party.
I understand that even though you’re treating yourself poorly you have an inner knowing and a calling to do and be more, I know you want to “walk the walk”. I know you really want to live a life that feels authentic, but you’re going to have to make some hard choices about who you are, who your friends are and what your behavior is.
You’ll have to learn to be responsible for yourself and the only way to make a real change is to get in touch with your INNER TRUTH.
So, you want to quit drinking, but don’t know how?
Are You Feeling Overwhelmed?
Do you struggle with anxiety, depression and low self worth?
Are you listening to your drinking voice or your highest self?
Have you survived trauma and used alcohol as a crutch?
Do you know there is more to life than how you’re living?
Are you caught up in a cycle that you can’t break on your own?
Do you know, deep down, that you need to get honest and real with yourself?
Are your choices serving your highest self or are you playing small and staying stuck?
Are the people around you supporting your best interests or theirs?
Are you living as your empowered self OR do you feel like a victim to your circumstances?
"I know what it's like to be afraid, to take a closer look at yourself, your choices and who you’re surrounding yourself with. I understand what it is like to lose connection with your truth and be afraid of what you’re hearing"
I get what it’s like waiting for a rock bottom to get your attention without realizing there doesn't have to be a monumental event to decide that your drinking isn’t working for you anymore.
I also know what it is like to be unaware that the missing piece to the life you want is self compassion and forgiveness for the parts of you which you feel ashamed of.
You may think by quitting drinking it means you will miss out on your friends, your social life and having a good time. Perhaps you don’t know how to BE without alcohol or who you are without alcohol.
You may be worried about being seen as boring or losing friends and being judged for not drinking.
You may be afraid of facing your past and tough emotions around your past or seeing what’s really there.
You may even believe you’re not “enough” just as you are being you and you’re worried you won’t fit in or be fun anymore.
You don’t want to be attached to labels like “alcoholic” or “powerless” or other commonly used language to describe alcohol addictions and dependencies.
The biggest thing most people are actually afraid of, myself included, is their GREATNESS.
They don’t realize that their most authentic self loves them unconditionally. They don’t realize that they have so much beauty to offer the world from their imperfections and that their ideas of perfection are actually holding them back.
They don't realize that their pain and trauma, the parts of them that lead them to want to forget who they are, are the biggest gift to share and give to others and you will heal not only yourself but generations before you and yet to come.
Every time you wake up with a hangover and feel anxiety, regret or shame about drinking too much or partying too hard, that is actually your highest self begging for you to see what you are doing to your body, mind and spirit.
What you really need is…
To learn to self regulate, detach from the chatter in your mind, forgive yourself for not knowing how to support yourself or cope with your emotions.
Take radical responsibility for your life and the role you’re playing in it.
To wake up to the fact that no one is coming to save you and grieve the times that have not saved you in the past.
Grieve the losses of your childhood, your upbringing and the places that lacked love and guidance, grieve these things by being there for yourself now.
Be the person in your life you never had, give yourself what you deserve which is to be loved and taken care of.
Here’s the truth...
You’re never going to be ready. You have to let go of all the expectations that everyone else has for you and that you have created around your relationship with yourself and with alcohol. You have to be willing to take a leap of faith and live your own life, how you truly deserve to be living it.
You need to create a support system that suits your future not your past and you need to love yourself in all the ways you never have before.
Realize that thinking you will be able to be a “normal” drinker if you just find enough balance or create the perfect rules is a lost cause. Because, let’s be honest,no one is a “normal drinker.”
You can stop trying to do this all alone and keep holding all of your feelings inside
The more you drink and party, the more you are disconnecting from your inner self and the inner truth.
This is your life and you have a choice, you just have to make it.
By not listening to your inner voice who is longing for more and instead stuffing it down with another night partying you are staying in a cycle of stuck, fighting to hold on to the things that are actually hurting you.
Sadly many of us have been conditioned not to trust ourselves, believe in ourselves and as a result we don’t always know how to listen to ourselves.
But that stops now!
Now is the time to start fighting for your true self.
The truth is alcohol serves no purpose but to disempower you. It is a tool to leave people oppressed and sick, it’s completely disconnecting you from your inner truth and all the goodness you have to offer the world. It is keeping you stuck in a cycle that will not get better but will just keep getting progressively worse and harder.
A journey in recovery takes patience and compassion for self to truly change your relationship with alcohol. It is ultimately a quest to a very old part of you that you may not even remember right away. It takes a lot of unlearning and recreating to lead you to a new empowered path for your life.
You get to be all the shit you’ve dreamt of being, you get to be whoever you want to be because everyday is an opportunity to wake up and do it all over again or an opportunity to make real change in your life.
So you get to choose -- you can be the party girl OR you can be the empowered WOMAN who owns her truth and rocks her life!
That’s where I come in....
I know what it is like to take this quest, to take the road less traveled .....
I was raised in a family that drinks alcohol everyday, a family that taught me to not talk about my feelings, speak my truth or make anyone around me uncomfortable. I had no idea how to self regulate or appropriately express the feelings that I did have, instead I held everything inside and stuffed my feelings down until I started self medicating, seeking the approval and attention of men and living a destructive and self punishing lifestyle because of all the fear and shame I pushed down for so many years.
Making change is terrifying and it truly feels easier to stay in our old behaviours and conditioned belief systems, but at the same time it also is not.
I never saw myself living an alcohol or drug free life. I identified so heavily with this part of me that it became a piece of me. I lived in a place where I was seeking outside of myself to find happiness, fulfillment and satisfaction. I was seeking from a source that doesn’t give but rather takes and I had to learn it would never truly fill me in the ways that I needed, I had to learn that I was the only one who was going to fill my cup.
I looked at surrender as weakness and if I gave up on trying to make my relationship with alcohol work that I would have failed and I would be judged, but surrender is not giving up it is actually the biggest act of service you can give yourself.
Surrender is the act of letting go, letting go of controlling your every move, it is the only way to experience true freedom from your attachments and your beliefs that are keeping you stuck and stopping you from growing and living the life you deserve.
" Honesty. Integrity and support; I achieved so much more than I had ever imagined."
"My relationship with alcohol not only transformed; but I had a safe place to dig deep and change my relationship with myself! Thank you Kristina!!"
"I have so much more confidence in myself and my abilities now, and that is what is making my sobriety so successful. This course will change your life! “
" Thank-you for creating this program to help women like myself grow into a confident version of themselves. "
Surrender is saying: this is not MY Inner Truth
Your Inner Truth knows you deserve peace in your life. That you deserve happiness and your purpose here is not to be lost addicted and seeking through experiences that will only leave you in pain and suffering.
The life I have created for myself is truly more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. I have self trust, self belief, self worth, self awareness and because of that I am creating everything I have dreamed of. I have created a life where I am confidently and authentically myself, on a path where I can now offer that same opportunity to inspire others to be their authentic selves, without the chains of alcohol holding them back.
I have logged hundreds of hours working on my addictions and healing my traumas. As a result, I trained with the Trauma Institute studying somatic experiencing , worked in multiple womens circles as a facilitator, done volunteer work at my local Women's Centre for marginalized women on the street helping them with basic needs and necessities, hosted healing retreats, and completed multiple certifications in yoga, ayurveda, wellness and female empowerment. I'm a RYT 200 Hatha Yoga Teacher with certifications in Yoga for Trauma and Yoga Nidra and have been practicing and teaching for 10 years.
What Is the Conjuring Your Inner Truth Program?
Here is the program overview:
Conjuring Your Inner Truth is a self paced12 Module container that will allow you to break free from your relationship and your beliefs around alcohol. It will leave you confidently leading your own life down a path that serves your highest self and your Inner Truth
Each module based on a Mantra to serve as your guide on this journey:
I Am Powerful Beyond My Wildest Dreams
I Release My Attachments From The Past And Own My Actions
Mantra: I Have Made The Decision To Surrender To The Universe And The Greatness It Has To Offer Me
I Have Taken Radical Responsibility For The Role I Have Played In My Own Life
I Have Admitted I Lost My Ability To Have Compassion For Myself And My Journey
Mantra: My Addictions Are NOT Defects Of Character
Within Me Is The Power To Restore My Mind, Body & Spirit To Wholeness
I Have Learned To Accept The Past And Forgive Myself
I Gracefully Accept All Of Who I Am
I Have Become Present And Aware Of Myself, My Choices And My Behaviors
I Am Connected To My Inner Truth And Wisdom And I Trust This To Lead The Way
Through Meditations And Self Awareness I Have Gained A Connection To My Highest Self
What Makes This Program Different?
Conjuring Your Inner Truth is not like most programs.
Most programs centred around alcohol or addiction try to take your power away.
I believe as women in a world that has oppressed us and taught us we are powerless over most things in our lives, this is not what we need more of. Women need to feel strong and empowered in who they are. We need to feel confident to stand in our power and speak our truth.
Conjuring Your Inner Truth is about finding and connecting to your deepest self. It is the deep connection to your true nature within, the part of you that doesn’t back down, quit herself or walk away from what she believes in because she knows who she is at her core and what she brings to the table is powerful and confident.
This is what the world needs. Society and the systems created to oppress you and keep you stuck do not want you to be empowered, but the universe does and if we rise together and return to our INNER TRUTH as women we can save more than just ourselves.
What about further support?
Join The After Party........Conjuring Your Inner Truth will include a private community of like-minded sober women working towards their highest good on the planet. With monthly live group coaching calls to work through each of the topics listed above as well as my support and guidance through any struggles you encounter during this journey.
As well as sober topics, meet-ups, sober sister support, mocktails recipes, meditation practices and more.....
Each module you will gain deeper understanding and insight into yourself and your beliefs around your relationship to alcohol. We will work together to dig deep and uncover the things that have been holding you back from connecting to your INNER TRUTH.
FAQ: More about Conjuring Your Inner Truth
How about 1:1 coaching calls?
Single coaching sessions are available anytime for anyone seeking extra support.
What if I am unable to meet for a monthly live call?
If you are unable to attend the scheduled LIVE you can catch the replay anytime in the private Facebook group.
How quickly am I expected to finish a module?
Typically a person would aim for one module per week but because this is self paced you can take as much time as you need to complete a module.
What if I am new to yoga and mediation?
A beginners mind is always the best mind when it comes to learning. Being new to yoga or meditation will offer you a lot of oppurtunities to growth and insights.
What if I don't like yoga?
Take what you need and leave the rest behind. The yoga practice offered is for any level of yoga and based on connecting the mind, body and spirit, it is not intended for fitness.