Abuse is subtle, it develops over time. Have you ever heard a woman answer the question “Why do you stay?”, she will rarely be able to give you an answer because she is so deeply absorbed into her world of confusion she can barely tell what is abuse and what is normal anymore.
Abusers often claim to take care of us, have our best interests in mind, make us feel as though we can’t get through things without them. Next they will have us believing they need us and that without us they will fail in some way or worse, die.
First they groom us into thinking we need them and that they would do anything for us. They mould our life to fit so perfectly into theirs that you become one, and when you try to step out of that tightly fit box that is when you will learn who is in charge of the relationship.
Abuse will not look like abuse at first, it will look caring and loving. Slowly it will become more rigid, and there may be rules that cannot be broken without consequences or shame. Soon you will no longer be capable of making decisions for yourself and your children. Soon you will be led to believe you are not capable of knowing what is best for you and your body.
Now you may not comply because you feel this doesn’t feel right and so you may stand up and say no, but you can expect to be faced with some less than favourable reactions.
Until before you know it there is no more you.
If you can understand what is happening right now within our society, you are not alone. The point of abuse is to make you feel small, and let me tell you, you are not. Keep standing up. Keep fighting for the right to your body. Keep fighting for a world where our children will be FREE in the future to choose.
No matter what you choose to do with your choice for your body, it is important that you understand that the right to choose is absolutely detrimental to our livelihood and our wellbeing as the people of this earth.
No matter your choice there is a risk, the point is not the risk but rather that you have a choice at all. Even if you believe your choice was the “right” choice and the other choice is “wrong”, the level of control that is being implemented into our society at this very moment is very scary and very obviously abusive.
Here is a list of common abusive behaviours, traits and tactics used by abusers:
Intimidate and make you feel small and inconsequential
Dismissiveness: you tell them about something that’s important to you and they say it’s nothing
Monitoring Your Whereabouts
Using Others: “everybody” thinks you’re crazy or “they all say” you’re wrong
Denying something you know is true “gaslighting”. Meant to question your own memory and sanity
Goading then Blaming
Demanding Respect. No perceived slight will go unpunished, and you’re expected to defer to them. But it’s a one-way street.
Shutting down communication. They’ll ignore your attempts at conversation in person, by text, or by phone.
Dehumanizing you. They’ll look away when you’re talking or stare at something else when they speak to you.
Keeping you from socializing.
Trying to come between you and your family.
Actively working to turn others against you. They’ll tell co-workers, friends, and even your family that you’re unstable and prone to hysterics.
I know this sounds familiar. I know you may not know how we got here. I know you may have been even doing and saying some of these things yourself because it is easy to get sucked into fear when you're being manipulated.
Know this: together we are strong. Together we are the people. We are compassionate and caring and loving by nature but we have allowed fear to drive a wedge through us and we have lost sight of what life is. We are in such a hurry to return to something that no longer exists, and with the grief and desperation of the overwhelm from the last year and a half of our lives we are being pushed and pulled into saying and doing things we don’t truly believe in or stand for.
No one wants to see anyone else suffer, no one wants anyone to die or be responsible for the death of someone else. No one wants to continue like this but you’re being pushed in the wrong direction. The direction of hate and fear, of finger pointing and judgment.
All the while not looking at how this really started, ignoring who is behind the lies and the corruption we have witnessed unfold. And now they have turned us against each other and somehow we trust and idolize them to still have our best interests in mind. We walk with blinders on that allow us no connection to our inner voices, and those who do are shamed and ridiculed and denied.
Do not forget that a man decided to sit in a lab and play GOD. Do not forget the risk that was created when those decisions were made without us knowing a thing. Do not forget that when this was questioned we were under the first veil of gaslighting, when they said we were wrong and we were crazy.
This is not what life is meant to be. Though life includes suffering and challenges, our lives are not about chasing freedoms and earning privileges. We are not here to scan in as we breathe toxic air, eat poison processed foods, on a dying planet while injecting the next quick fix into our bodies.
There is a much bigger problem here right now than what you choose to do with your body. You as a human on this planet are going to die. Our very home is telling us that everyday as in burns and shakes and floods and crumbles. Yet we ignore our health and the health of our planet because we are being told what life is. We are being told what living is supposed to be like through the media and through our governments.
We the people did not do this, we did not create what is happening but we are allowing it to continue. Stop blaming each other because it is scary. Stop hating each other because you’re triggered and unhealed and unhealthy.
Stop allowing this war to divide us as not that long ago we all sported trendy hashtags and statuses that said “we are in this together”......so I will ask you “Who is in this now?’”
Those who will comply, those who will do as they are told? It seems all that counts is those who are willing to be bought by the euphoric feelings you get when you are teased with hockey tickets and fast food.
Becoming “woke” is no easy task. It comes with a great risk of being ostracized. But this without a doubt is the time to rise. Comply to keep your comforts and simple pleasures that continue to deliver you no actual wellness or wellbeing, only false ideas of life as we know it. Filtered and fancy.
No civilization has gone without suffering or falling, yet we live in our deep privileged perfection.